“SOULS
IN MOTION”/CSS:
A Place
of Hospitality
by
Julia Raboteau
[Fall, 2003]
Hospitality is
making room for another like Mary’s womb made room for Christ, and we know
the liturgical texts that her womb was made “as spacious as the heavens.”
The umbrella for “Souls
in Motion” is CSS, or Community Support
System, a day rehabilitation program that has been providing psychiatric
services for adults for nearly twenty-five years in
Harlem
,
New York
City. CSS
is presently housed in a former public high school building called the
Oberia
Dempsey
Center
along with many other social services. As a Continuing Day Treatment Program,
our doors open early to offer breakfast to our clients and stay open seven
days a week also providing lunch, Metrocards, reading and writing classes,
recreational activities, counseling and medication. We also offer a limited
number of shared living apartments.
Our clinical director, Mr. Willie
James Prescott, was there when CSS opened its doors in 1979. A consummate
father-type, he runs the program with a healthy balance of compassion and grit
and is adored by our 100 clients. His
personal tone sets the stage for a dynamic and caring program.
Our business
officer, always immersed in the complicated maze of institutional finances,
feels free to stop and cook a delicious Guianese meal for the clients. Our
clinical coordinator takes a break from writing treatment plans to join us in
the exercise circle. Retired staff members return to work part-time. Social
work and psychiatric interns come from colleges in
New York City. Volunteers offer their time and gifts.
Souls
in Motion is housed in the basement of the
Dempsey
Center, hidden away in a maze of winding corridors that culminate in large studio
space that is often mistaken for a museum.
Louise and I began Souls as a
haven to promote creativity for our psychiatric clients, but over the years we
see that it has been a haven for everyone connected with our community,
including ourselves!
Many people measure mental
problems with a cultural yardstick. For us,
“madness” is fragile, chaotic and frightened energy that is
hiding a Big Spirit. For sixteen years we have been able to provide a stable,
safe harbor for such a spirit. We believe that we feel better about ourselves
if we tap into and reclaim the creative streak that lies at our core. We exist
to help facilitate that connection by encouraging expression in the creative
arts as well as in the interaction between human beings.
Before I came to Harlem to
work, I read a seventeen year study of a mental patient, Sylvia Frumpkin, that
first appeared in four installments in The New Yorker by Susan Sheehan
called “Is There No Place On Earth
For Me?” and was amazed by the random chaos and downward spiral that
characterized this woman’s life. Each day Louise and I try to answer this
plea with a resounding “Yes!”
there is a place, at Souls in Motion!
Our gifts define our
respective roles in the studio. Louise is the Mother of the Hearth and cooks
two delicious, healthy meals a day, tends to our menagerie of animals, directs
the sewing projects and leads us in Qi Gong. I am the Architect of the Space
and promote art, take photographs, oversee the Souls
Press, and tend the garden. By nature, I am more Martha and Louise more
Mary, but over the years we have grown to be some of both. Although we look
quite different physically, it is common for people to confuse us and call us
by each other’s names.
In vintage Raboteau style my
husband Al wrote this description for our community: “Souls
in Motion/CSS, a studio space in Harlem, a place to awaken and nourish the
artistic spirit within each of us, a space for painting, for cooking, for
writing, for stretching, for sewing, for the fine art of listening, for
silence and reflection, a place where each person is welcome, a room of
hospitality.” Al is no stranger to our room. He has been teaching a
journal-writing seminar called “The Soup Seminar” with the clients for the last eight years.
The actual physical space is
enormous and divided by low partitions that allow visibility into all of the
parts. Everyone can see and hear each other easily. This arrangement helps to
create a mutual respect for the people and the room. Clients who come
regularly to work get their own desk, while others come to enjoy the quiet and
the beauty, sleep off the effects of their various medication,
interact with our animals or enjoy making something with their hands. We try
to offer a balance between privacy and community.
One of the busiest
desks in our room belongs to William Turner. From the beginning we were given
the gift of Mr. Turner who keeps a spiritual pulse on all things. He is able
to transform his personal psychosis into selfless prayer to God. His sleepless
nights are often spent listening to news on the radio and praying for victims
of earthquakes, floods, starvation, shootings, wars, rapes, global turmoil.
His faith in God knows no boundaries. “God is Love” is often on his lips
and in his drawings.
He is also a visionary. He
dreamt about the collapse of the Berlin Wall the night before it fell, and saw
Louise and I in nursing aprons at its edge
administering to people while he flew over it in a cape, an image dear to our
hearts that we use on our calling cards. It was also prophetic as she and I
began an acupuncture program three years after he had this dream.
Fifty
feet south of William sits another client, Lorna, mother, cook, poet, peer
advocate who wants everyone to experience God’s gift of love and writes
poems to steer us in that direction. We published her first book of poetry “Love
Always” that is in now in its third edition.
Like William, she is filled with gratitude for the gift of life and prays
daily at our children’s altar. Many of our clients’ children have been
raised in the foster care system. Lorna prays from a little book that lists
their names. She also leads us in intercessional prayer at the Orthodox altar
in the small niche off the acupuncture area, a comforting place to be when our
wounds overwhelm us.
Two of our favorite
prayers come from one of our clients who before she gets out of bed in the
morning says “Thank you Lord for another day. A
day I never saw before. And thank you for waking me clothed in my right mind
and for having all the activity in my limbs,” and then at mealtime continues
with “Lord, we thank you for this food. By Thy hands we are softly fed. Give
us Lord, our daily bread. Amen. Amen.”
One day, when William
was way down in the dumps, Lorna wrote him a poem to cheer him up called “if
i bite you” and it goes “if i bite you, i ain’t gonna let nobody see me
bite you, i’d love to hug you because you’re for real, you know the deal,
i love your laughter, so if you’re gonna bite me, make it snappy…” This
inspired poem became the title for our first published Souls’ anthology that
featured prayers of thankfulness.
The Tibetan Buddhists
believe that mental illness comes from immense unkindness to people when they
were children. There can never be enough kindness to make up for the deep
afflictions of painful childhoods. For
us, at Souls in Motion, hugs are 98%
of our job, and almost everyone wants one. Louise and I love the aesthetic
beauty in the studio, but we know that the main deal is the hugging. My “off”
days in the community are those when I forget this lesson.
Lorna, skeptical of
treatment centers, found us through her close friend James whose enthusiasm
for the studio had convinced her to at least visit. He promised her that Souls
in Motion/CSS was not like most “programs.” During our first “interview”
with her, we all felt like we had known each other for years. In 1999 she
wrote these words for her presentation at a conference she and I attended
called “Our Time Has Come":
The
support I have received has been unbelievable.
We, the members, are thankful for all the true love we have
received. I have given much thought to this, not only as a
human being, but also as a spiritual being. And I believe
that
Our Almighty Creator has guided me in my also becoming a
peer counselor at CSS/Souls
in Motion. I have been
basically drawn out of the shell that I had been in. With
the
support I have been able to remain out of the hospital for
five years, which is something that earlier on in life
seemed to
me to be an unbelievable impossibility. I also give credit to
my hard work on myself, because in order for my
medication to work, I have to work with my inner self as
well as my outer self. I would like to see all the clients
progress, as they have many talented abilities.
Lorna has
the added support of one of our most endearing volunteers, Libbie, who comes
to give her acupuncture once a week. As a graduate of the CSS
program, Lorna chose to stay and redefine her role in the program. She
apprentices with Louise in the kitchen learning to cook and eat healthy food,
develops ideas with me for the greeting card business she hopes to have one
day with her younger daughter, and has received peer advocacy training. She
finds that her acupuncture treatments are helping to improve both her physical
and mental health, a key to realizing future goals.
Compassionate like his friend Lorna, James can
pull himself out of his own depression to soothe another person’s suffering.
Once he told me that if he hadn’t been eaten alive by mental depression and
guilt, he would have become a social worker or a therapist in a school. I told
him that he was already one, and that his generosity was indispensable at CSS. Presently, he is at a state hospital and the whole community
misses him and prays for him.
His gentle nature was acknowledged by Jack, our
resident rabbit, who would make a sudden stop to let James pet him as he
hopped around our 8500 square feet that make up his studio habitat. Over the
long span of his life, he has only let a precious few people pet him. With
fierce bared teeth and sharp grunts, he set clear guidelines for touching
early on. He courts Louise by chewing on her velvet pant legs and used to
circle Orville, a former client, during his extensive philosophical pacing. He
has definitely taught me about my rough edges by only recently in his tenth
year, now blind with cataracts and survivor of a mini-stroke, allowing me
finally to pat his head.
However, it is Ballerina, our white cat with soulful
eyes, who is queen of our roost. Scruffy and thin, she was sighted hanging out
in the parking lot during the Raboteau wedding reception that was held at
Souls in Motion. We adopted her just weeks before she gave birth to five
kittens in a box under the computer. After some serious nutritional food from
Louise, her sleek body could be seen in the aviary watching our
three red slider’s swimming about, darting out playfully at Jack as
he hopped by and lying with Fred, our African Leopard tortoise, under his heat
lamp.
Her calm energy is a balm for our room and ideal for
those clients who are afraid of cats. She allows gentle petting, alerts us to
visitors entering the room, lies in the middle of our morning Qi Gong circle,
kneads sore abdomens during or after a Pilates or acupuncture session, and
sleeps muse-like in the large basket in the middle of the round table for the
writing class.
Besides
learning from our animals, we get lessons from each other. One of our most
delightful teachers is Ethel whose deep faith in God and immense love of life
inspires us when life looks grim. Her
buoyancy is a gift for the chronic depression that her husband James wrestles
with. For many years their admirable marriage has been a model for other CSS
couples. Against the gray grid that is
Harlem
, the difficulties of mental illness, and the pain in being separated from her
husband, she sits in the green grass flanking the
Hudson River
to calm herself and lights her candles in prayer at night. Her faith is
deep and her spirit intrepid.
Nowadays
she visits James on the weekends when she can take a free bus that takes her
to the hospital one hour north of
Harlem
. For six months, she has been a receptionist for CSS and is thinking about
working a “real” job. The CSS program encourages clients to graduate and
move on when they can. We do some pre-vocational training and work with
agencies that are set up for job training skills. Before she can realize this
goal, we hope to publish her charming autobiography.
Over the years, many souls in motion have defined and
continue to define themselves in our studio space, not the least of them include
the artists, artisans, writers and musicians.
One of our most serious and talented artists is Joseph who has been
drawing since childhood when he drew monster pictures on his mother’s brown
shopping bags for the delight of his friends. When his residence moved him to
an adult home in
Coney Island
two years ago, Joseph’s attendance dropped dramatically. But our strong
belief in his creative gift has spurred his return. Now when he makes that two
hour subway ride to
Harlem
, we see and applaud his new work, shore him up with art supplies and exchange
hugs.
His work has been shown in an invitational
show at the Ward Nasse Gallery in
Soho
, in a group show of Harlem Artists at
Riverside
Church
, as a media event in our former Souls
in Motion Garden, and featured in Double Take Magazine. He has a
permanent show of his banners of magic markers on Tyvek and his pastels in the
“Joseph Franklin” alcove in our studio where he shows visitors work from
his portfolio.
Three years ago, our community was gifted by the
presence of Anne, a painter from
Paris, who needed a place to work. She began by doing quick black and white
sketches of the clients. Soon she was doing pastels of the room and eventually
moved to full-length oil portraits. Anne is a seamless blend of creativity in
both her work and her life relationships. Her unabashed love of her subject
matter make ‘the portrait experience”
a spiritual gift for our clients. Her paintings are hauntingly
beautiful.
Her working presence alone is an inspiration for
creativity in the studio. Recently, she has taken Joseph under her tutelage
and is encouraging him to explore new media. She also has a special
relationship with a client who works behind her who makes a Mandela every day.
He gives all his work away, quite clear of the recipient before he starts.
Only occasionally will Souls in Motion get one and it’s a waste of time to
beg for one! Many of them end up in the communal dayroom/cafeteria and in
staff offices. For him, making art is a labor of love and is seen as a way to
give another a gift of oneself or thanks for “services rendered.” This is
an attitude towards the “art object” that makes complete sense to me.
Then there is Mary, creator of the legendary Bummie
Nose dolls. Mary cuts, sews and stuffs her little cloth dolls with great
speed, braiding and twisting yarn for their elaborate hairdos. I am in charge
of sewing the faces and the clothes but stay many dolls behind her. I
simply can’t keep up with her single-mindedness and swift hands. We have
been more successful at finding boutiques to sell Mary’s dolls than in
selling Joseph’s artwork. Louise and Julia’s gifts lie in running the
studio, not in the business end of it. In case you’re wondering, “Bummie
Nose” is a term of endearment. Once you are in Mary’s good graces, you
might get lucky and be called Bummie Nose.
No one is allowed to dip into Louise’s “Fabric
Library” without her permission. This is a magical corner where rayon,
cotton, velvet, tapestry, leather, ripstop, leather, canvass, and unbleached
muslin are folded neatly on rows and rows of shelves. Mary and other clients
often make quilts for their children or their grand-children. Louise
supervises the design and the sewing of these quilts, as well as the dolls,
potholders and our specialty, catnip filled mice for cats. I always get photos
of everything and document the artisan with the artifact. Years ago, some of
the quilts were featured during African-American month in the Ethnic Hall at
the
Museum
of
Natural History
.
Everything is made “from scratch”, whether out of
fabric or out of food. Louise makes a mean gingerbread by hand, grounding up
fresh ginger and Chinese Herbs and it is her famously healthy food that gave
rise to the name “Soup Seminar” for Al’s writing group.
Right before our healthy
midday
meal on Thursdays, Al begins the writing class by suggesting a topic for the
day. While the writers are making a new entry into their journals, all is
quiet. Then we can hear their voices as they take turns reading their work.
Often the thinking can stir up the “bittersweet” experiences of one’s
life, especially for a newcomer to the group, and everyone listens
respectfully. Then it’s time to have some of the good food of the day.
In an excerpt from her poem “
The Greatest Love of All” Juliette, one of the regulars in the
writing circle, writes “The love that the Most High has lavished on us is
the greatest love of all. He has given us help in times of need/ It
is the greatest love of all. He has forgiven our sins/ It
is the greatest love of all. He has given us hope in times of despair/ It
is the greatest love of all. He has shown us kindness/It is the greatest love
of all. He has shown us mercy/It is the greatest love of all…..”
She also home schools her teenage daughter mornings
in the studio.
Sayeeda uses a
series of poems to describe her journey into schizophrenia and the arduous
struggle to bring clarity and purpose back into her life. She writes, “There
are times when I do not understand how my life grew up in flashes. It is like
a death sentence for a young lady wanting to be successful in life. I like to
look at my life as a car ride where I drove off the cliff and survive.” We
will be publishing her book “A Glance Into The
Mirror” this fall.
A sense of our community’s history plays an important
role in promoting stability. The sixteen-year old existence of the room itself
has allowed folks to come and go and then to return, with a
“Oh, are you still here!” Many artifacts adorn our studio that bear
testimony to its history – masks made of clients’ faces, wreaths woven
from grapevines from the huge garden William and I tended for twelve years,
photo blow-ups of clients from the thousand of photographs that make up my “Photograph
Library”, paper dragons, reverbished street furniture, drawings and
sculpture, gifts from the many volunteers and visitors who have been part of
our studio, and memorial scrapbook for those clients who have passed.
Over the span of twenty-five years, our community has
experienced many deaths. One that hit us very hard was that of William Gibbons
who died relatively young and unexpectedly in his sleep. An uncomplaining
human being, he had hid from us, even from the medical team, his painful
stomach ulcers that had hemorrhaged in the middle of the night. In grieving
and honoring him we became aware of the immense role he had played in our
lives, and in memory, still does. He loved the Souls in Motion studio and was
imbued with its free spirit.
At
breakfast, he would surprise us with “sweet potato pies made from scratch.”
often a combination of pumpkin, squash and sweet potatoes,
that he had made for us at three in the morning. I was particularly
touched because he knew that orange roots and tubers were my favorite kind of
food. The fact that they often arrived upside-down
only increased their value, disqualifying them as objects of perfection and
moving them into acts of love. Louise
bought him a Martha Stewart double-tiered pie basket but no device, however
well intentioned, could contain that effervescent style that characterized Mr.
William Gibbons.
His art and poetry was as capricious and fanciful as
those pies. He made dinosaur landscapes, broken glass encrusted ashtrays,
colored plastic fork sculptures and tall wooden structures filled to the brim
with small objects from 99cent stores and found objects. He worked faster than
Mary and his results often disappeared as quickly to where and for whom we
never knew. In Al’s group he wrote a poem called “Recipe for a Hot Day”:
“A tall glass of cool breeze with ice cubes. Water
sandwich with two cushions of fresh air.” He walked along Lenox
Avenue with the same fluidity, darting unexpectedly out of a doorway to wish
you a good morning, bowing with a “Honor, Mrs.
Raboteau, honor her,” his eyes covered with one of his many pairs of
sunglasses.
Yet his “lightness of being” public persona was
deceptive. Privately, he spent hours amassing articles about civil rights and
the injustices that mankind inflict on each other. During Black History Month,
he would bring in books about famous people and once filled an entire wall
with Xeroxed images of black lawyers, educators, and entertainers inspired by
a conceptual art show we had seen at The Museum of Modern Art. He also brought
in an article about “Professor Raboteau” that Al had not known existed to
“honor him!” He kept us on our cultural toes. He had been to every known
museum in all of
New York
’s five boroughs and would bring news of shows that he hoped we would go to
together.
We invited him to
Princeton
to attend the luncheon and unveiling ceremony of Al’s portrait as Dean of
the
Graduate
School
. When I met his train, there was no William. Disappointed, we drove on to the
Graduate Dining hall where a large wooden door opened up magically for us to
enter. Behind the door was, of course, William who ritualistically presented
Al with a turquoise champagne glass. During lunch, he sat with the Raboteau
clan and was in heaven as President Shapiro made a toast to the first
African-American Graduate School Dean in the history of
Princeton
University
. Back in
Harlem
, Anna honored William in turn when she chose him as the subject for her first
oil painting. He could hardly conceal his delight.
When he died a month later, his death held a dramatic
Mary and Martha lesson for me. In
Princeton
that day, without question he had filled my unusual request to help me carry a
very long, dried out log from the woods to our
front door. The day before he died, I denied William his request to photograph
him live next to Anna’s portrait of him. This type of photography – the
person, the picture of the person, the person holding a picture of a picture
of the person and so forth – had become his new art form. I told him I would
photograph him the next day even though I had already promised him a photo
shoot that day. He left the studio visibly disappointed.
But there was to be no next day. When news of his death reached our
studio, we were stunned and our communal grief was immeasurable. Mine was
accompanied by the bitter memory of denial. The photo of us carrying my
beloved log that day is on the small altar above my desk as a reminder to
honor an important request when it is made. Under it is his small orange
dog-eared Bible to reinforce the lesson.
There
were two memorial services for Mr. Gibbons, our small intimate one with live
music and clients’ poems to “honor him” and one at a funeral parlor that
was attended to overflowing by his relatives and many of our clients. We read
in the program that he frequently visited his fellow clients when there were
hospitalized. We learned many other things as well since no staff person could
ever get any information out of him about his past. He lived loving and
honoring the creative fabrication of the moment in all its mystery.
A week after he died, a new client came to work in our
studio, also filled with the desire to express the creative spirit and I felt
I was being given a second chance. I mused, whereas Gibbon’s spirit was
airy, Belton’s is dense, whereas Gibbon’s work fell apart with the
slightest vibration, Belton’s work is firmly nailed together, whereas Gibbon’s
work disappeared from the studio overnight, Belton’s wooden sculptures
collect like a great forest. The Raboteau household is blessed with four
Belton artifacts, a carved African face and cane, a Sacred Heart statue of
Jesus and a small wooden table with sacred hearts. I am more mindful of first
things first these days.
Al and I are believers of linking up
different communities for the benefit of both of them, each one with its
distinctive gifts to offer the other. Lorna, James and Ethel and a few others
have stayed with us in
Princeton
and visited our church, Mother of God, Joy of All Who Sorrow Orthodox Mission.
One of our elder clients spends a week with us during Nativity and Pascha. Two
years ago, our choir, priest, and parishioners from
Princeton
visited Souls in Motion during one of our holiday sales.
Many folks from our Orthodox community-at-large have visited us.
Distance and busyness are deterrents to implementing this dream but we
are always on the lookout for new opportunities.
Over the sixteen years, we have “reinvented” the room
many times trying to be sensitive to the needs of the people who are using it.
Many have benefited from our stable yet flexible environment. One year
when it looked as if the entire program might close or change for the worst,
we realized how fragile our creation really was. A close Orthodox friend
consoled me by saying “You know, it will be okay, Souls
in Motion is a place in the heart.”